Can You Say @%#*&%@ ?

Ingredients for Knit Gathering:

Pleasant weather forecast,

Ducks in a row, including elaborate drill team navigation of entire family around oldest child's new job and middle child's school commencement ceremony -- mandatory attendance --  for handing off boisterous toddler mid-way through the afternoon to run around on the grass while middle child sings theme from Les Choiristes in chorus and various pedagogical figures wish graduates a bright future.  Pray the loudspeaker system will drown out boisterous toddler.

Back to making ready:

Yarn to share (including 25 yards of my own homespun)

Drop spindles and fiber (because you never know who might be susceptible)
(see Ben? I didn't forget your the blue container)

Hostess present,

Risotto a la Milanese ,

Ready . . .?  Okay, right about now, this is where things start to go wrong.

Change forecast to

Understand that Commencement will now be held under a tent, eliminating the running-around-on-the-grass option.  Resign self to waiting for end of ceremony and make phone plans to meet husband and middle child half-way, to exchange minivan-with-boisterous-toddler-strapped-into-car-seat for wagon-with-broken-tape-player-and-no-cup-holders (what do Germans have against cup holders?) for solo ride to Knit Gathering.

Print out directions. 

Wait for phone to ring.

Look at clock.

Wait some more.  Pace so much that no knitting gets done.

Call Hostess and ask if it's okay that I show up even later.

Bless her little heart.

Wait.

Entertain boisterous toddler.  Paint.  Draw.  Knock over blocks.  Imagine handing him off anyway.

Ring husband.  Get James Earl Jones' voice telling you party is unavailable.  Remember that husband still doesn't know how to use the vibrate function in his phone so he just turns the thing off.  Remember that he's had this particular phone for five years.

In order to show you the most relevant events, we have omitted some entries very similar to the "wait" entries already displayed.

Watch clock creep toward event horizon, the moment when departing would mean arriving only to have to turn around to come home. Consider tears. Remember that you're a grown up, and it would only upset the toddler to see you freak out.

Give up.

Apologize to hostess.  Listen to assembled crew hail you over the phone.  Feel a little better, and a little worse.

Welcome soaking wet family home three hours later than expected; make dinner of Risotto a la Milanese; drink glass of Neapolitan white wine. Tell husband it's okay: there's a spinning bee in Chemsford tomorrow if he wants to make it up to you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Laurie]

That unspeakably sucks. I so remember your foray up to New Hampshire to meet spinners, when it was unfindable. And this most recent happenstance .....I have no idea what the cosmos is thinking.

[Colleen]

Awww shucks, Julia. We missed you, we really, really did.

[Cassie]

D*mn. That just sucks.

[Christie]

That totally sucks. GRrrRRRrRrRRr!!!

[elisa]

I was really looking forward to meeting you tonight, and I know other people were, too, so we'll just have to plan something to happen soon!

[Kerstin]

We missed you. The Bookish Girl is a fine, fine hostess. With absolutely the mostest. :)

[stephanie]

Being the spouse of a severly time challenged man...I feel your pain.
I think that opting not to weep was very mature. Likely inappropriate, but very mature.

[liz]

Poor you. I too have a time-challenged husband who turns off his phone. Fortunately for me, he has to carry a pager for work so he's never completely unreachable.

[margene]

Sounds like ususal 'men' mode. I once heard someone say she had been married for 30+ years and never considered divorce, murder yes, divorce, no.

[melanie]

Ditto Elisa, we missed you much. Time to schedule another!!

[Kim]

I'd have to probably take the husband's cell phone and with some very strong unpleasant words, have a conversation about NOT calling and NOT answering and show him how the thing worked. That if you can drive a car, you can work a phone. And that it's very rude to NOT call/share information with one's spouse about plans that have/are changing. Expecailly when there is rain, children and one's spouse involved.

But I'm not married and I don't have kids. Do you think it's because if I had a husband who had a cell phone, that didn't call or answer......

Here, let's have a cell phone and not use it. I have HAD this conversation with my beloved neighbor Ike!! Yesterday, his son flew in from back east. Son has cell phone. Ike has cell phone. Neither has each other's cell phone number. Big mix-up at airport. Ike calls me from his cell phone. He doesn't have son's cell # or home # in phone or on body. His son doesn't have his Dad's cell number in phone or on body. These guys are 71 and 50. I end up spending holding time on two phones with paging at airport. Why are men running the world when they have to be told to exchange phone numbers BEFORE going to airports?

I'm debating on if I should have another cup of coffee....

[Amy]

Julia, I was so looking forward to sitting in a corner with you, and chatting about Wendy's sublime collection of novels and comparing toddler stories. We must make a date at a later time. I did bring my spindles and found fiber spun up as I was gathering my belongings.

[Lee Ann]

It is just incredible how an otherwise intelligent man can think that it is remotely useful to take along a cellphone everywhere he goes and leave it in OFF mode. My husband does this all the time. I'm sure it's something to do with hormones and radioactivity or something...a painful interaction between an activated cellphone and testosterone, perhaps...

I have a feeling you're going to a spinning bee soon :-)

[Wendy]

I had so looked forward to having Julia hug (you're one of the best huggers I know, as I found out at the afghan-a-long.) We missed you.

[benedetta]

and I had something for you too!
we really missed you....
so sorry it did not work out, hope you enjoyed the risotto anyway!

[Judy]

wheeew! and you somehow managed to keep your sense of humor, I mean you photographed the risotto..

[Siow Chin]

Oh, hope you get to go for your spinning bee....

[juno]

The universe can be a malignant place. Impressed with the strength of character it took not to cry and pout and throw things. If it had been me, I am afraid there, well, there would ahve been whining.
You have a very sweet nature, fortunately bolstered by the pragmatism necessary to keep the scales balanced with today's spinning option.

[Kim]

Ok, what ARE those ducks doing?

[lisa b]

thank you for sharing your "series of unfortunate events". in my relatively new life as a mother, i am no longer surprised by the conspiring universe and i am now astonished when things actually go as planned. anyway, i picked up a little something for you the other day and brought it with me to knitsmiths last sunday and thought i would be able to conjure your presence...don't know why but when i get these vibes, i go with it....oh well, i guess i'm not psychic. hope to see you soon

[susan]

Dang! At least you got to eat the Risotto.