Alpaca Etiquette 101

Just so you know, Alpacas chew with their mouths open.  It is shocking to think this is entirely acceptable in their society, but it is (in fact) encouraged.  It has something to do with competition, as in, my-mouthful-of-cud-I-can-regurgitate-at-will-should you-ever-cross-me--suckah--is-better-than-your-mouthful-of-cud. 

I'm providing this as an information service so that the next time you have an alpaca on the dinner party guest list, you will know to reconsider, or to seat her across from the guy recovering from lasik eye surgery. 

(I say "her" because I know you would never have a male alpaca on the guest list.  They're just tooooo unruly.)

Another common alpaca rule is that alpacas never get sheared when they are wet, for reasons not only of decorum, but also because it's impractical to shear a wet animal.  If an alpaca says on a friday night that she's just washed her hair and she can't do a thing with it, you shouldn't take it personally.  Simply call another time.

It has been raining enough for the last few days that shearing has been postponed. Everything is clean and sterilzed and ready to go. Until then, it is perfectly permissable for small boys to splash about in the muddy corral, provided Mom has Purell in the car and a change of clothes for the ride home.  Alpacas won't be held responsible for where that water has been.

Comments

[Faith]

What a good laugh! I'll be sure to keep this in mind for future fiber-animal entertaining events.

[Cass]

But aren't alpacas social animals? So you should invite 2 for dinner, and they can sit across from each other.

[Laurie]

I can just imagine what it would like to try and mobilize wet alpaca fleece for the lifting and the shearing. No. Thank. You. But then, since it was postponed, maybe I could make it next time!

[Ruth]

We just got new rain boots at our house, too (I am assuming the Boy's are new, because they are so bright and shiny). Frog boots.

It has been a good weekend for rain boots.

[catsmum]

My alpaca substitutes [ the goats ] said to point out to you that they never spit, being far too ladylike.
Mind you, the one alpaca habit I wish they WOULD emulate is the pooping-only-in-one-spot :]

[Juno]

The things Emily Post never tells you......

[Cheryl]

I'm hoping for nice weather next weekend, that would be perfect.

[Manise]

Those pants look like very soggy Hanna's. My boy has the same ones I believe. Too bad the shearing was postponed.

[Suzanne]

That mouthful of cud thing would definitely make me think twice before offending an alpaca. What is the knitting in your new banner?

[Lucia]

I think alpacas are like babies: so adorable you just can't help cutting them a ton of slack on things like table manners.

[Thalia]

Aaaww... luckily, alpacas are ridiculously cute - and helpful with all that wool - that it's easy to let them have their open-mouth-chewing-ways. :)

[Beth S.]

Aw, that's too bad about the postponement. Luckily the Boy seems to have taken the disappointment tolerably well, huh? :-)

BTW, have you told us about the new banner yet? It can't be P.S., because that's all pinks and peaches... whatever this is, it's beyond stunning.

[Dava]

Just be careful not to sit them next to the Llamas...

[Helen]

Ahhh yes, the wet animal thing. Not good for alpacas or rabbits (we don't have wet rabbits, but their wool does get damp during those long wet spells).

Little boys love muddy water. I guess it is just something that mom's have to get used too. Thank God for Purell!

[Marcy]

Wow. The things you can learn in the land o' blogs! Wow.

[Judy]

With all my new social skills, I feel like I'm set to conquer the world.

[Kathy]

Love the rain boots. Quite cute! What did we ever do before Purell? I can't even begin to think about the water . . .

[juno]

Wait - its your birthday? Happy birthday, my lovely one.