How to Push Yarn Like an Expert

Susan was in town with her family last weekend, and it is my greatest regret that we made only the most general of plans to maybe meet on Friday, or was it Saturday, so the whole thing completely evaporated from my brain until the very second on Saturday when it became too late to salvage any time at all.  So my most elaborate of fawning apologies to her, and a warning to any of you who might think I am a reliable person to meet you on a corner on a sunny day.  Make me repeat any instructions back to you, and make sure the plan is nailed down, lest I see a weed in the walk that needs a pull, and the hedge could use a trim, and damn, we're out of milk I need-to-run-to-the-store, and before you know it, you're standing on uncertainty corner wondering if it was something you should have said.

Stephanie came to town Wednesday and she's no slouch about the "be there at that time and bring the such and such."  I was prompt, because I wasn't going to make the same stupid mistake twice in one week.  It certainly would have been fun to head out to the Lowell Textile History Museum (if only to see her face the moment she realizes that she is in the presence of 4000 wheels), but it was too late in the day to outrun rush hour.  And favorite yarn shops Wild and Wooly and Woolcott both close at the respectable hour of five, so that left only one option in the Boston area: Circles.  But really, I do so admire that shop, I couldn't imagine not taking a knitting friend there, given the chance.

(We had to brave Red Sox game traffic on the way to Jamaica Plain, and Stephanie observed that while sports crowds in both Toronto and Boston exhibit a behavior that is universal, the reason why the guy in a "Red Sox Nation" shirt at the Blue Jays game she went to the night before would try to get the crowd to chant "Yankees Suck" mystified her.  I explained the nature of the particular anathema Red Sox fans harbor for the Yankees, but that a Red Sox fan would attend a Yankees game in another city to incite the crowd against them was a difficult concept for so polite a Canadian. Come to think of it, I may understand the motivation myself, but only so far as it strengthens my conviction that the culture of professional sports is doing none of us a favour.)

We had Circles practically to ourselves, and the nice woman who wasn't Allison (whose name I forget--again with the evaporating brain) was content to have us blabber on about which of the two colours of orange in the Kidsilk Haze had Claudia knit her Birch in, and there was an amazing Coopworth fingering weight she bought last time, was there more?, and the like. So we touched everything, dumped the sale bin out onto the floor, and heedlessly fondled all the samples.  For two solid hours we pet the yarn, and Stephanie used her powers of persuasion to get me to buy lace weight alpaca, to embark upon an imaginary shawl that has no written pattern, to support a yarn company out of principle with a token purchase, and to buy enough Artyarns Regal Silk to finally add a Flower Basket Scarf to my life. (Stash note: there must now be about six such yarns in the stash so designated, all chosen for their refined exquisiteness to finally chase the FBS onto my entropic needles.  But this time, it's different.  Really.  I mean it.)  She is very good at getting other people to buy yarn, especially me, (but Juno might have the highest ranking on the susceptibility scale in this case)  and she even says that it's one of her better skills.  She tried to teach me the finer points; kneeling over a pile of sale bin yarn on the floor, waving a skein of Chasing Rainbows Tencel Merino at me, she signaled that I should give my persuading muscle a flex.

"Tell me why I should buy this skein."

"Nancy Finn is an independent producer?" I offered, uncertainly.

"Try again," she whispered, unimpressed.

"How many yards are in that skein?" I asked, searching my brain for small projects that don't amount to *hat*.

"Come ON!  You're not even trying!"

The woman whose name I forget suggested: "Mittens?"

"Bingo!"  said Stephanie, and slapped that puppy down on the counter behind her. She looked at me with exaggerated disgust and said "That is why you don't work in a yarn store."

I have so much yet to learn.

Comments

[Allison]

I'm so sorry I missed you! Wouldn't you know. The one night I'm not there. We had a break in our class schedule and I wasn't feeling well.

From Jennifer's telling it sounds like you had a relaxing time, I'm glad you could make yourself at home. I hope that it was a fine departure for Stephanie to be away from crowds for bit. And I'm so happy to hear that she took some Chasing Rainbows yarn. Nancy Finn has an exquisite palette that she applies only to the finest of yarns. She and Linda of Oak Grove are in a class of their own.

You won't be sorry about that Alpaca Lace Weight. Whether you put it on size 1's or size 15's you'll have a yummy garment when you're done. Buttery and fluffy and surprisingly warm. What color did you get? I'm lusting after the deep plum.

Again, I'm sorry I missed you, its always a pleasure. And I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for being such a supporter of Circles. We appreciate it.

[Carole]

Oh, I can hear your voices in my head and I love that story. As for the Red Sox/Yankee thing, maybe you just have to have grown up hating the Yankees to get it.

[claudia]

Wait, there's another color of orange KSH???

[The Feminist Mafia]

Thanks for buttering her up. By the time she arrived in Cambridge, she was most hilarious.

[Martha]

The baseball players aren't the problem; only rarely are they anything other than respectful toward each other. It's the Boston fans. I'm not sure there's anything we can do except teach our children that the major reason we hate the Yankees is because they're so good.

Why would tencel merino be especially good for mittens? (I couldn't work in a yarn shop, either).

[Stephanie]

The best part was when you upended the sales bin.
Shameless.

[--Deb]

Hmm, another item to add to my life's wish list--yarn shopping with you and Stephanie....

[Helen]

Sounds like you had lots of fun!

[Rachel H]

Sigh. I want to be in a room with 4000 spinning wheels. And I don't even spin yet.

You gradually build up an immunity to Stephanie in yarn shops. Really. What's fun is watching Denny turn the tables on her. She knows which Harlot buttons to push and goes right for 'em. Hell of an enjoyable show.

[Bookish Wendy]

I would imagine that convincing either of you to buy yarn would be a bit like blowing a feather of a table. Seriously.

[susan]

Oh, no one can possibly understand the Red Sox/Yankees thing unless they've grown up in New England or lived there for several years. You should have seen my kids' eyes pop several years ago when we exited Fenway and stumbled upon a vendor selling Yankees Suck bumper stickers. To the untrained ear, her hawking cry sounded a lot like: "Getcha Yankees suck bumpah stickahs heah."

[Juno]

No, no, no, it's CASSIE who is weak, I mean susceptible. *I* just like to buy fiber. But I can make Stephanie buy yarn too so it all works out...and did you see me sell the merino top at SPA? I made six total strangers buy that fiber.

It was really good.....

[Chris]

Heh, can't sell wool to shorn sheep is MAYBE a little stong. ;) But only maybe a little!

[Dianna]

My Kahuna Girls had yarn petting customers in our LYS this afternoon. Most of the time, one of them gets a customer to buy at least $100 in yarn! I would love to spend two hours in a yarn shop with Stephanie - what a hoot!

[Ruth]

Stephanie is such an enabler. In a good way.
That sounds like a miraculous sales bin.

[Laurie]

I have learned, through infinite regret, that if Cassie, Juno, or Stephanie say "BUY this" you just do. You don't ask questions. They always have a good reason. If you are in a situation where they are turning the tables, and telling you to tell them "BUY this", not only should you acquiese, you should also buy what they are buying. Because you will only regret not buying it, or spend an inordinate amount of time going back and trying to find it again.

Works for me.

[Monica]

I'm great at enabling yarn and fibers, not so great at enabling anything else, though.

[Amber]

That is too funny. I love the textile museum. Good thing too, I see it every morning, and every night. I live right next door to it!